Saturday, May 31, 2008

We are Women

Rememember that anthem from the 70's "I am Woman"? For those of you who weren't born yet or don't remember, the soaring declaration that made woman all over America want to rally against injustice, macrame a belt, and stop having dinner parties went like this: "If I have to, I can do anything. I am strong! I am invincible! I am Woman!"

My anthem wuold probably go "If I have to I can maybe do lunch. I need a strawberry Margarita! I am responsible for too much at work! I am Woman! This is the kind of lyric that explains why I am so seldom called upon to produce a hit single.

I like women., I like then as much or more than I like almost anybody. But the women I like aren't alsways strong, and they are certainly not invincible. They're creative, they are idiosyncratic, and they are around if you need them. They know how to raise hell and they know how to raise children. They never miss Wednesday Happy Hour. They have seen me at my worse. They can spot a scam, a lousy doctor and a crummy boyfriend in ten seconds. They have perfected the stare that can make a nasty salesperson, a bad waitress or a co worker fold like an oragami swan. My favorite women feel bad about their arms, but love their asses. They try really hard to wish everyone well. They brake for sex, sleep, solitude, caffiene and Vodka. They have got nerves of steel, the courage of their convictions, great taste and comfortable footwear. They're sugar and spice and everything I aspire to.

Here, in no particular order, are a few spectacular famous women we should all think of:

She might have been norn a coal miners's daughter, but Lorretta Lynn raised herself up to be an audacious provocateur who's spent nearly 50 years turning out country classics - including you aint woman enough to take my man. Her 2004 hit with White Stripes Jack White, came at 69. When I am 69, I plan to be watching reruns of Law and Order and watching my blood sugar raise... similar to wahtat I do at 30.

She understood female friendship, complicated men, and domestic engineering better than most of us ever will. I don't love Lucy, I dont dream of Jeannie - but Wilma Flinstone could probably get us out of Iraq and global warming simultaneously. The question is: Are we ready for a cartoon cave woman in the white house?

Speaking of the White House, I'd like to thank Chelsea Clinton for appearing to be a normal human being, when it so could have gone the other way. If anybody's earned the right to exit a limo without underpants, lord know's it her. There are no words for how grateful I am not to have wo watch as she checks out or rehab to atttend a Golden Globe party or serves 41 minutes in jail for shoplifting a leg of lamp in her Marc Jacobs bad or fights for custody of Anna Nicole's baby or ways in at 83 pounds of solid denial.

I know Don Cheadle isn't a woman, but I just saw a documentary called Darfur Now and it made me like him so much that I've decided to bestow upon him an "Honorary Girl" title. He is whip smart and fiercely committed to alleviateing misery, so I say we hand him a DVD of They Way We Were, teach him the secret handshake, waive the membership fee and start letting him into meetings.

"My faith in the Constiution is whole, it is complete; it is total. And I am not going to sit here and be an idle spectator to the diminutoion, the subversion or distruction of it." The late, great Congresswoman Barbara Jordan said that. I only wish other Texas politicains shared her sentiment.

Many women struggle every day and make the hard choices. This should not be happening to us, my best friends, women I don't know. But then I remind myself that if we have to, we can do anything. We are strong, and when one of us isn't feeling all that invicible, the other will take the wheel. We are Women.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

where is all my time.

i used to love to blog. i dont have as much time. new job, actual work. but my sister sent me a message today - why the hell dont you blog anymore?

im here. i have alot going on. im dating Steven. he really likes me. it's been like a week. I haven't given it up. I really have no interest in giving it up anytime soon. He is a nice guy, but i just don't know. he's all like i love you, i want you to have beautiful caramel skinned babies with your eyes. I am like - Hold up!

This brings to topic... why do men think I love you is the key to pussy? I like sex. Im good at it. I don't give it up until I want too.. I doesn't matter how much you claim to love me.

My crush is here this weekend... hope to see him Saturday... can't wait!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

where are they all coming from?

wow ... life's ramblings.

im lunch-time blogging... im sure this against the rules.

over my peanut butter sandwhich, im pondering my life.

here's what's going on...

i had dinner with a new friend the other night, and it was very cool, i for sure have a girl crush on her.

im starving, and this sandwhich isn't doing the trick.

my mom just found out she is diabetic. i tested my sugar with her machine. I was actually afraid too. Im overweight, and pepsi runs through my veins. I was afraid it was going to be like 299! It's was 116, I was thrilled. I need to take charge of my heath.

i think I am really over D. if he really loved me he would be sad, I was sad - not happy. i am starting to think i may recover.

i didn't talk to my e-crush yesterday -- cause I was busy at work. how can you find yourself missing someone you don't know? also, we are supposed to meet at the end of the month, and i have some anxiety about it. I never get anxiety about men.

something is up with me and rebecca. im not sure, but things havent been right since Sunday. I hate when things are like this. when i call her it is like she is not receptive to talking.... i miss "us".

ive seen steven alot this week. dinner, icecream, lunch - we are going shopping tonight. he's growing on me, he is so sweet, so nice... but no chemistry...uughh...

just an update... and vent...

what's up with you?

Monday, March 10, 2008


i have a crush. an internet crush, it's completely top secret. im skeptical, i have yet to meet this man. I don't know him, but I feel like he gets me better than anyone I have ever met. I literally wait all day for him to get online. This weekend, he was not around and I miss him. Is this real? I am completely smitten. I hope and pray he is really this amazing man ... so smart and quirky and funny. I anxiously check my email.. hoping for a note. lordy, lordy - i have a crush.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

music... the soundtrack of our lives

another saturday night .... the only thing I have going is a Law & Order SVU Marathon.

of course, that's got me snooping all over the internet for something to amuse me. i read an article. very interesting. there's a guy in austin who just turned his living room into a Steve Perry tribute bar. regardless of how you feel about Steve Perry or Journey ( i love faithfully), you have to admire this guy's devotion - music is literally the fabric of his life (or, more specifically, his three piece sectional). and this is a good analogy - music as an element as your life's design. or at least - for those of us less obsessed - as something to sit on. think about it: like furniture, every song has it's own unique shape, weight, pattern, and texture. it serves as a reflection of your personal taste, while also reflecting current trends.

personally, i have no music ability or talent, but i am most drawn to people who do - the connect me to the sounds i love. songs make me happy, make me cry, heal my heart and make me want to do dirty things.

what's you favorite song, what makes your heart skip a beat?

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

the weather is confused!

i live in florida. it is march. i am ready for the beach, warm weather, my feet in the sand. i want to bake out my hangovers. but something happened, the weather is confused. im still wearing jeans and sweatshirts. it is cold.

i love the beach. i can't wait to plan out first weekend of the summer. the beach held all the best memories from growing up. ive spent countless hours with my sister in the sand, tasting the salt, drinking pepsi from a can. not much has changed except now it's beer from plastic cups.

i want to go give my soul to the water, let it heal me...

where is your favorite vacation spot?